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Life Wasted
Pearl Jam

You're always saying that there's something wrong...
I'm starting to believe it's your plan all along...

Death came around, forced to hear its song...
And know tomorrow can't be depended on.

I seen the home inside your head...
All locked doors and unmade beds.
Open sores unattended
Let me say just once that

I have faced it... A life wasted...
I'm never going back again.

I escaped it... A life wasted..
I'm never going back again.

Having tasted... A life wasted...
I'm never going back again

The world awaits just up the stairs
Leave the pain for someone else.

Nothing back there for you to find...
Or was it you, you left behind?

You're always saying you're too weak to be strong...
You're harder on yourself than just about anyone...

Why swim the channel just to get this far?
Halfway there, why would you turn around?

Darkness comes in waves... tell me,
why invite it to stay?

You're warm with negativity,
Yes, comfort is an energy...
But why let the sad song play?

I have faced it... A life wasted...
I'm never going back again.

Oh I escaped it,... A life wasted...
I'm never going back again.

Having tasted... A life wasted...
I'm never going back again.

Oh I erased it... A life wasted...
I'm never going back again.

Thirty-four. I turned 34 years old this week. Not a big deal I guess, but I notice that awkward inching toward 35 simply because I am a woman who has not given birth to children (yet) and what I know is that when women bear children after 34, they are watched extra carefully by medical staff. Additional precautions are taken. And, yes, I know that plenty of women give birth to plenty of healthy babies after the ripe age of 34. I know too that adoption is a wonderful opportunity that may be available to me. I'm not depressed about it. Just noticing that's all. Looking at my life head on. Seeing the details in all their nuances. And I am remembering being a mom. Feeling the feelings of no longer having the kids in my life. Wondering about the future. Maybe that is what birthdays are for. Remembering the past. Being in the present. Imagining the future. Here is to 34 years of love, joy, fulfillment, sadness, grace, gratitude, hope, pain and fun. Here is to the however many more years which are guaranteed to include more of the same. Let it be so.

A Trip to Another Dimension

I was recently at Highland Orchards in Wilmington. Visiting Highland Orchards helps me to feel like I have stepped back in time or perhaps that I live in the country somewhere. They have fruit trees, vegetables, goats, horses, chickens, pigs...everything a girl could want in order to escape (even if briefly) the urban/suburban world that is her reality. And because I am all about sharing my experiences with you my devoted blog reader(s), posted here are pictures of a couple of the critters that I caught

peering out of their little cubbies.

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